The 10 Steps To Emotional Healing
You may think that emotional issues should be relegated to the couch in your local therapist or psychologist’s office, yet if you have experienced anything in your past that has left you feeling hurt, disappointed, or not enough, you are walking around with unresolved emotional issues. While you may think you are masking them effectively and they don’t affect your business, guess again. Have you ever met an irate or rude vendor that just seemed to have a “chip” on their shoulder? Have you had to deal with an employee who seems to be depressed or have sadness in their energy? Have you ever held back from sharing a business idea or your business vision with someone because you doubted that they would take you seriously?
All of these scenarios exist solely because of unresolved and unhealed emotional issues. Whether or not you are aware of it, I would be willing to bet that you are still harboring something that is holding back your success. Unless you are highly aware of the state of your heart and know how to walk yourself through the steps to emotional healing, you are more than likely slowing your potential success because of your issues.
Now for the good news…you can do something about it. As a matter of fact, you can be completely free of any and all emotional triggers, pain, and unresolved hurt. Although it doesn’t happen overnight, the old myth that time heals all pain is simply not true. You only heal and release to the extent that you handle the pain. While women usually cover their emotional issues with sadness, shopping, or developing a hardened attitude, men’s hurt shows up with exaggerated toughness or a larger than-life ego. It may also show up in cockiness or avoiding relationships that could potentially leave them open to future hurt.
By following the following steps, you can eradicate your messed-up emotions once and for all:
1. Acknowledge that incomplete pain is present.
2. Identify the source of the pain. When did it begin? Who is it associated with? When was the last time you remember not having this emotional pain?
3. Fully realize the depth of the pain you are feeling. When you allow yourself to feel it, how badly does it hurt? Where do you carry the pain?
4. Ask yourself what you made it mean about yourself. What conclusions did you draw about yourself? What did you attach or Velcro to what happened? How are you punishing yourself? How are you sabotaging yourself? Did you make it mean that you aren’t good enough or worthy enough?
5. Remember the negative and positive that you experienced. What lessons did you learn? What blessings have come out of the pain?
6. Express your pain. Let it out…bring completion to the situation without doing harm to yourself or anyone else. Go beyond the anger. Write it. Speak it. Scream it (into a pillow or on a walk in the woods).
7. Re-program yourself to redefine your reality. Work on the things that make you feel lovable and deserving of the best. Post what you really want to internalize and believe on your walls, in your wallet, on your desk and on your dashboard.
8. Pray! Pray! Pray! Take time to get in touch with God and the fact that you are a child of God. Give your burden to God. Release it. Ask God to take the pain from your heart and spirit. He will. You can wake up and no longer have to carry that raw feeling of hurt and pain.
9. Forgive yourself and the other(s) involved. They didn’t know better or didn’t act on what they know to be right at the time. Even if it appeared that they vindictively or purposely set out to hurt you, they did what they knew to do at the time. They may have even been doing the best they could at the time. Write a letter to every person you have not yet forgiven. Ask a friend to pretend to be that person and listen to all you have to say. Talk it out with yourself. Do what you have to do in a safe way.
10. See it, speak it, be it!!!
You can take any issue still hiding out in your emotional baggage (see Ericka’s article, Are You Masking Your Success? for a full explanation of your emotional baggage) and walk it through these steps and you will be released from it. The best way is to think through the steps and then write them down to get them out. Once you write them down, do something with them. Burn them. Tear them up. Bury them. Perform some ritual that represents letting it go. I once even went to a stream, ripped up my steps and watched them go downstream. Do whatever it takes to be emotionally free of your barriers to the fearless life you deserve. It is not only possible, it is time.